Sunday, April 06, 2008

My Saturday night with homie & the hookers!

Well, after the party mentioned in the post below, Mich and I drove to our hotel. A suite, $162.00 a night and were looking forward to a good night's sleep. HA! Mich slept in one room, I in another. (She says that sometimes I snore. I know that's not true, couldn't be, but I humour her.) I was just nicely asleep some time after midnight when...

OMG! Homie and the Hookers came home to the room across the hall! One girl was named Rochelle, I have many more details but being a "G" rated blog, cannot pass them on! Yelling, squealing, screaming, giggling and much descriptive language ensued. At one point, and I have no idea why, homie took the party into the parking lot, outside my window where I was able to get a good look at him. He was on his cell phone. The blue glow nicely lit up his white cap, kind of like a black light. Michie thinks maybe he went outside as his was a non-smoking room. She cracks me up that kid! Hey rules are rules she says...

Anyway, the hilarity continued until apparently Rochelle either wasn't feeling well or just needed a nap when homie so gallantly told her she could use any of the beds to lay down. A true gentleman! The other girl kept homie company until London's finest came and broke up their party. At which point I was able to go back to sleep... briefly.

Did I mention the kid's basketball teams and their 9872 family members? The ones who somehow were under the impression they were the only guests? The ones who allowed their darlings to freely run screaming through the halls starting at 6:45am?

I got up, got dressed and went to get a coffee from the courtesy breakfast area. Mistake! Guess where all the little darlings where? There was food strewn everywhere, more screaming and yelling. No inside voices in evidence. Indulgent parents, loving watching their children behave like heathens. I like kids, I have a couple, I used to be one for crying out loud, but for the love of all that is holy, get some control over them!

At this point I went to the front desk and asked the lovely girl working the following question. "So, do you provide the hookers for your guests or do they have to bring in their own?" (Pretty good for 7am with no sleep eh?) She responded by asking what room I was in, I told her 103. She said "oh yes, the police were called about them." I then told her how happy I was to hear the pitter patter of 4000 little feet and sweet children's' voices at 6:45am, all the while smiling my sweetest smile! Well, it may have been my mean face, at that hour I can't keep them apart! I mentioned their 100% room satisfaction guarantee and asked her to talk to someone and see what they wanted to do about it.

I went back to the breakfast room, hoping it had improved and... the room went dark. Actually, the whole hotel went dark, no hydro! Just the hotel not the whole city or anything. I figure some little darling had stuck a knife in an outlet or something while his doting parent looked lovingly on. The really bad part was they all came down the stairs which exited beside my room.

I plugged in the kettle for Michie's tea figuring I'd spare her the breakfast melee. It didn't work. I went and got her a tea. The breakfast room was even worse if that is possible.

The power eventually came back on, then off again, then no working tv stations.

At check out a new girl was working. She tried to bill me. I said hey... did no one mention homie & the hookers? Raging hoards of juvenile louts rampaging in the halls? She offered 50%. I mentioned the 100% guarantee.

I am $162.00 richer but very, very tired!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, it must be a "Toal" thing or just not our weekend for hotels because I got to my hotel in Orillia....had just finished my Tim Horton's egg salad sandwich, got into my pj's and washed all the makeup off my face and yes...the fire alarm went off. I was outside in my pj's while 3 firetrucks of hunky fireman looked for the source of the alarm. Got back in after about 40 minutes. Was tired after the party etc. so I went to sleep early. Was woken up most of the night by the crying of a baby in the next room. He finally fell asleep around 4:30 am but his horrendous wall shaking cough woke him up again around 6:30. Yes...yesterday was a long day : (

Pat Toal said...

Food, fun, friends, family, Hookers, homies, baskeballers, cops, babies, croup & Firefighters... what a weekend! :)