Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Air Canada - we're not unhappy 'til you're unhappy!




So... Living in Windsor I have the benefit of being able to fly out of Detroit, thereby avoiding Air Canada. Sadly, this last trip being within my own country's borders, I flew our national airline.


I must admit getting there was fine. Everything on time and no one was bitchy. I assume this was just a blip in their normal operations! The fact that the food sucks and you have to pay for it is another rant I shall save for later. Oh and you have to pay for teeny tiny pillows too if you want one.

Coming home, now here's the Air Canada we all know and love. Yes there were winter storms on the West coast and in Ontario and the East coast. Yes I understand that there were delays, cancellations and problems. Lets start with Calgary airport on my return flight.

1- There is no choice but to self serve at the machines for boarding passes. I was sharply told this by an Air Canada employee manning the line up for baggage checking in a snarly/snippy tone. She was holding the barrier thingy in her hand and snapping it shut then magically opening it again to grant us access. I went and used the machine. I had questions but the machine wouldn't answer.

2- When I went back to ask my questions, I was curtly directed to a winding line down the hall and told to go stand at the end of it. We cattle, herded along wistfully eying the magic portal manned by the woman in the blue uniform that would eventually allow us to put down our hopefully underweight bags.

3- By the time I arrived at the keeper of the gate's domain, I had forgotten my question.

4- I found out my plane, due to take off at 11:40 was now 12:05. Ok, my connecting flight to Windsor was at 6:18 Ontario time, 4:18 Alberta time. I now would have 20 minutes to catch it. I was told that would not be a problem. "They'll make up some time in the air." I am a fool.

5- standing in line to walk through the metal detector, someone's carry on luggage set off an alarm. Everyone working came to look. I looked. It was mine! sigh... I walked through, did not set off any alarms metal-wise and went over to my bag. The young man had a wand in his hand with a piece of fabric attached to it. I had failed the "explosives test." I quickly explained why and produced my Fireworks licenses and my handy/dandy letter from the Feds explaining why I would fail this test! They let me carry on. (ha, no pun intended.) My little tv screen thing didn't work. They re-set it and yet it still kept shutting off. I watched a movie in parts and am still not sure if I've seen the whole thing? They have settings for news too - this service is not available. Oh and Planet Earth shows, not available, oh and settings for... well you get the point.

5- Air Canada is NOT smart enough to deplane the passengers who have connecting flights first! Nope, why bother right?

6- I came out and showed my boarding pass for the next flight to another employee, she told me, "no problem, it's still here, go to gate whatever..." I asked about my suitcase. She told me to make a claim in Windsor. I said oh and then they'll deliver it to me. She said no, you can go back and get it. I said "wanna bet?" She didn't like that much.

7- I ran, yep me... running. I arrived, I held out my boarding pass only to be told... "there's no one missing from this flight." So I asked "what the hell am I?" She didn't like that much. She looked me up and said "oh, we switched you to another flight." I was amazed and asked why? They "assumed" I wouldn't make it. I asked them to let me on the plane. It was now 6:19, one minute after the scheduled departure. Had she NOT shut the boarding thingy and just let me on to start I'd have been on my way. Ah, the next flight... 10:45pm! Did I mention it was only 6:19? 4 hours and 29 minutes later. Now that's service! I could have fricking driven home in 4 hours and 29 minutes! I think that with all the cancellations and missed connections they gave my seat to someone else.

8- I left the secure area and went outside where it was a balmy -2. Compared to Strathmore it was bathing suit weather. I lit a smoke and called Michelle at work. When the other Pharmacy Technician answered and told me Mich was busy I asked her to please get her as I was sure I was about to be tasered! I paced, smoked, ranted and blew off steam to the Mich to avoid the whole tasering thing.

9- I went into expedia.ca cafe. I was seated by the waiter, then a tall, young skinny blonde was seated, then a tall, young skinny brunette was seated... guess which two got their orders taken, wine brought and food served first? hmmmmmmmmm? I just drank up my two glasses of Inniskillin, ate my Reuben and went back outside. I then called Joey and ranted, paced and smoked as I could see that taser getting closer and closer! I was going to go find more wine when I went back in but decided that perhaps adding more alcohol to my mood was NOT in my best tasering avoiding interest!

10- I got on the plane and waited to take off. Nope... baggage guys were busy, had to wait for them to load our plane. *edit* interestingly I did NOT set off the explosives alarm in Toronto, just the "there's a big metal blob in her purse," alarm for all the coin I had?

11- I got home, by cab, at midnight. With my suitcase I am happy and amazed to add!

12- I could have and should have flown to Europe for what that cost. Though I would have used Lufthansa!

*Many good things happened on my trip, the best being visiting with my family in Calgary and I will post pics and details when I am at home. (I'm at work but had to get this Air Canada thing off my chest!)

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